Proof is in the Pudding
by projekt
Summary: AU. He can't let her disappear from his life forever through that portrait hole... Severus takes a chance and is determined to prove it to Lily, no matter what it takes. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

"_I don't need help from filthy little mudbloods like her!"_

His stomach was lurching. His skin felt rather cold, and yet his face was hot as though stricken with a fever. Humiliation was throbbing in his temple, and yet there was something icy cold running through his veins. Resentment. He paced wearily outside of Gryffindor Tower, his eager black eyes darting to the portrait of the Fat Lady every time he passed. His heart was drumming loudly in his chest, and yet his stomach was rather sick. It was no longer the pleasant tickling of butterfly wings when he thought of seeing her beautiful smile. Now it was the swiveling coil of regret gripping at his insides. The pale young man stopped when he thought he had heard-... no, it was only the tired yawn of the Fat Lady at this unforgivable hour. The usual sour frown creased his lips as he looked away, his nervous pace a bit twitchy. As much as he prayed to see Lily, to confess desperate apologies to her for ever uttering such a name, there was thick unease about him.

Severus Snape released a long withheld breath of air, parting his lips as he stopped his weary walk. Instead he fixed his eyes on the portrait, reminding himself of the event. O.W.L.S had been a breeze, he had his usual dedication to his studies. Confidence radiated from him while perched in a book or with quill in hand. His lips twisted into a pleased smirk when Lily would praise him, and he would often feel a bit of pride when she succeeded as well. Even with a quiet, often bitter demeanor at times, even in face of her, she never seemed to really know the feelings she incited inside of him. But now it would end, wouldn't it? He looked forward to this summer, somewhat. It meant he would be returning to his wretched home life, but it also meant he would be able to spend time with his red headed Lily, almost exclusively. Those pleasant expectations were ripped from him when in the heat of fury and humiliation, he lashed out at her. What had he done? For once, he really did feel slimy in his own skin. Severus released a quiet groan of displeased desperation. All of those memories he had created with her, his life; it had revolved around her.

It had all begun at the mere age of nine years old. A boy, living in Spinner's End, gazing longingly at the girl he had come to admire, to want. She lived in what seemed like sunlight, and he seemed to thrive in shadow. It was an awful torture, but a child wants, what a child wants. At the opportunity given he seized it, perhaps too hastily at first. That pretty little girl, upturned her nose with long fiery hair swaying and stalked away to find refuge by her older muggle sister. But he was persistent, and somehow, they had managed to become fast friends.

Afternoons of intrigue filled their summer. Sprawled in the grass, his dark eyes hovering over her pretty face, those shimmering green eyes. She would smile so much, and was so curious about the magic he saw in her. Veiled in a green tint from the overhang of the trees on bright afternoons. Even he, managed to strike a smile and somehow seem magnificent in spite of his hand me down careless clothes. Severus cherished these memories. Each one a perfectly painted portrait in his mind, though wishing to be something more. Wading in a small brook not far from their neighborhood, enjoying fireworks on the fourth of July. While he was not always so fond of such things, Lily managed to make them seem brighter, and bathed in their glow, she was the only view that really made him smile. Watching her from afar, these years of being friends, no, best friends were becoming steadily down trodden, weren't they? Lily was increasingly upset with him over his choice in company. In his choices towards the future. Severus scowled as his sweet memories were suddenly spiraling, topped off with his mistake made today. Why did those moments seem so far away now?

June, this month usually had him in a stranglehold of emotions. He did not particularly like the heat, and he dreaded leaving Hogwarts for the miserable life he had in Spinner's End. But every chance with her, just so long as he could be near her, made him happy. The tall Slytherin boy seemed mesmerized as he stood in front of the Fat Lady, who was now snoring softly, sinking deeper into his thoughts. His sweet Lily, these past six years of loving her... More memories flooded back to him. Secretly helping her in potions while he scribbled down his own notes wearily, enjoying an occasional stroll in Hogsmeade. Hell, as a child he was invited to sneak into her room once or twice, if only to show off some magic in the dark to an excited Lily.

Slowly, his black eyes traveled up. He couldn't let those days end. Severus' thoughts were becoming more frantic as Lily refused to speak to him. His fists clenched, though it felt just a bit foreign to his long slender fingers. His heart began to pound again, no longer comforted by the memories he was surrounding himself in. This was now, and Lily wasn't coming. But he wouldn't leave. He'd even told that Mary girl that he would stay out here all night if need be. How long ago was that? An hour? Two hours? His lips were twisted in a frown, one that was more worried and sad than his usual bitter outlook let on. His brows knit together. He felt what little shred of hope he had been clinging to fading. Letting his shoulders fall from their usual tight position, Severus hung his head, a curtain of inky black hair veiling his pale face.

There was a soft creak. Severus jerked his head upwards, staring with wide hopeful eyes. The portrait swung open, and what stepped out was beautiful Lily. His heart leaped up. She was here! Severus' black eyes drank her in, as if this would be the last time he could see her up close. Fair skin, lips that were rosy, long fiery waves of hair, and... those green shimmering eyes he held so dear. But he could read her easily, those lovely emeralds were much glassier than usual, a peculiar shine he could not mistake. Her cheeks were flush, and she had not bothered to change out of her bed clothes. Her slender arms were folded over her bosom. Lily, she'd been crying. His heart sank a little further and his stomach twisted in knots. The first words out of his mouth were "I'm so sorry."

Lily seemed as though she was holding a deep breath. Severus stared at her intensely, wishing so much to make what had happened vanish. The girl before him, one he could tell he had grown taller than now, as they stood so close, wasn't even thinking of redeeming him. He could see it in her eyes. But he was frantic, he was angry at himself. As if hoping she didn't hear him, he spoke again, and this time, a little more loudly than his usual soft whisper.

"I'm sorry." his black eyes searched her, imploring for an answer.

"I'm not interested." she told him, voice trembling. That was not the answer he was hoping for.

"I'm sorry!" he couldn't help the desperation pushing the volume up just a tad.

"Save your breath." she retorted just as coolly.

Severus felt his fingers curl. These words were so useless to her. To him, as well. But his mind was searching for anything he could grasp onto, normally rather well versed, in the glassy green eyed stare of his scorned beloved, he couldn't help but splutter in silence.

"I'm only out here because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep out here..." she added, as if defending her reasons for being out here. Her eyes even retched away from his.

"I was. I would have done so." he answered quickly, trying to reassure her of his loyalty, of his secret need for her. Lily was silent, her breath while quiet, was a little shallow, he could easily see the rise and fall of her shoulders. Her eyes refused to meet him, determined to stare at the stone cold ground. Determined to keep from looking at him at all.

"I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just-"

"Slipped out?" Lily finished his sentence without a hint of pity. Severus felt his chest grow tight, his skin felt cold. His lips parted, desperate to find the right words, but nothing came out.

"It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years... None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you." Her eyes were on him now, glimmering with remnant tears. But her lips were set into a frown. She was furious with him.

"You... and your precious little Death Eater friends..." she went on. Her voice choked a little, her tone cautious. But Severus said nothing, he couldn't lie to her. Severus swallowed hard, his throat was too dry, and his fingers were trembling. Lily released a frustrated sigh, one that stung him.

"You see? You don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?" Lily finally unraveled her arms, and Severus could see the slight jerk in her motion. His skin, if possible, turned even paler. This was ending... Lily was turning away from him, those precious green eyes were giving up on him. "Lily..." his voice was less than a whisper, he felt as though he could not summon it in the time he needed most.

"Please..." he added, trying to stop her.

"I can't pretend anymore... You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No- listen, I didn't mean-"

"To call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?" She paused by the portrait, one hand gripping the frame. She was prepared to leave, and this last glance back was all he had. Severus struggled on the verge of speech, his heart was pounding frantically in his chest, his stomach was tight. Too many thoughts were making his head spin. Why was she different? That was obvious, wasn't it? And yet he'd never had the courage to sum it up in words. Not to her. Fear of rejection, of loss of all he had ever had pressured him into silence. Longing silence. Her piercing green glare was rendering him speechless, frozen on the spot with so much to say. But she was slipping right through his fingers. A heavy sigh crashed through her lips and her eyes drifted away, climbing back up into the portrait hole...

Something suddenly overcame him. A realization wracked his senses as he desperately reached out, all else leaving him. Tact to the wind, heart rounding its hundredth lap by the second, Severus caught her wrist without any intent of setting her free. "No, Lily, please-" he was begging now, something he would never hope to do again.

"Sev!" she cried out, tugging back, trying to escape him. Surprisingly, his gentle hold was enough to keep her, at least for now. He quickly reached up, pressing a palm to her other shoulder, hoping to convey what he meant. He didn't know what he was doing really. This was madness, this was desperate and fueled by panic. He could only imagine in his worst nightmares the fate that awaited him should he lose Lily. On pure instinct he knew this was his only chance. His last chance, lest he give her up. The girl of Gryffindor shot him a contemptuous look, her lips pursed into a pout.

"You _are_ different." his voice was hoarse. Lily's eyes were glittering with what may have been tears now. Severus swallowed, trying to force the lump in his throat away, trying to ease the tears he could feel glassing over his own dark eyes. "Lily, I..." his words were next to breathless. His face was hotter than before, he could feel the back of his neck burning. He leaned over her just a slight, as if trying to encase Lily in his shadowy pale form. His long black hair curtained his face, leaving only her to view him. His black eyes, while eager and worried, were soft and intense. The utmost gentle whisper escaped him, so close he knew she had to have heard it.

"I love you."

Severus searched her emerald green eyes in that instant. Fear was gripping him, his shoulders slightly risen as if in defense fingers only gently clamping onto both of her shoulders now. The rush of her porcelain skin under his own hands was still in the thickening, though he was so preoccupied with her reaction he could do little but look into her with his wondering pleading gaze. For a moment, her brows were lifted in surprise, and even now, the intensity of his stare paired with those words made her blush. She was stiff in his hold. But what happened was not quite the reaction he was expecting. Lily's lips suddenly pulled into a quivering frown, and she jerked back, her palms shoving into his chest and forcing him away. Severus stumbled, taken aback by the sudden outburst. "How can you say that?" she shouted at him. Tears were bubbling over and streaming down her cheeks. Severus quieted the gasp as he stared at her, brows knitted together and confused. Lily shook her head, quickly enough to make her crimson tresses spill a little more.

"How can you say that, Severus?" she cried, not bothering to dry the tears dampening her cheeks. "How can you say that when you hang out with Death Eaters? And call them your friends? They hate people like me! They want to kill people like me! And you want to be just like them!" Lily tried to refrain the soft sob, but failed. Severus stood frozen, his stomach coiled in unpleasantness while his fists balled tightly.

Why... why did things like this seem to dawn on him now? Why did it come to this, having to rip himself apart from her, and be forced to see his future for what it really was? These things he passed off as pranks, the dark magic he mentioned and studied fervently with a loving caress, though it paled in comparison to the feelings he held for this one girl; it was all slowly plucking at the threads keeping them together. And when he finally took a courageous leap, and admitted his unending feelings to her, he plummeted. Like serpents winding their way around his heart and squeezing until it stopped, Severus was disconnected from the one that had ever made him feel anything more than hate, fear, or anger. For all that he was, Lily was his happiness. If he lost her... would these things still hold their magnificent glamor? Could he turn away from the cruel intentions his likely friends held dear? For his only dear... dear, Lily. The empty corridors seemed to be listening with bated breath, the silence was too much to bare against her accusations ringing in his head.

"You have to believe me. I've loved you since..." he took a breath, his eyes searching the dimly lit corridor around them. She needed to know he loved her. They'd been so close for all of these years, his eyes had never strayed from her, in almost any sense. But he was blushing, Severus stammered quietly, this embarrassment and dwindling hope rendering him incoherent. Lily stared at him, her demeanor somehow calmer, though the frown on her lips unwavering. Exasperation left her, and for some reason, there was a hint of hopefulness touching at her eyes. However, the red haired girl shook her head, making his heart flinch and his attention peak. Lily stared up at him, her green eyed gaze strong and probing as she found his black eyes.

"Prove it."


	2. Chapter 2

Prove it.

Those words resounded within him. Severus could do little more than stare into her imploring green eyes. She asked him to prove his love for her. The longer Severus stared, the more he understood. Lily Evans was not asking him to shower her in flowers and candy, but to make a rock hard conviction for her. For himself. He already had an idea of the course he would need to take should he accept this. Oh, how could he not accept this? Refusing her, after opening his eyes to this nightmarish choke-hold that ensnared him ever since he stepped foot into Slytherin, would be suicide in itself. He couldn't discard the only one he held dear, and even now, with unwavering loyalty in his heart to her, his ambitions took a backseat.

The silence between them was thick, but she was motionless. This was his chance. And just as he had as a child, Severus would seize the opportunity presented without a second thought.

"I will." he murmured low enough for her to hear.

Through all of the frustration and drying tears on her rosy face, Severus saw the slight spark of surprise in Lily. Her muscles became less tense, and a breath escaped her. Severus stood, staring into her, as if awaiting some sort of approval. Seeming lost for words, Lily did little more than give him a curt nod. Despite what had been laid out before him, Severus managed the twitch of a smile on his lips. He wasn't sure what to think. He'd opened up his heart to her, displayed it clearly, and yet she made no notion of any feelings she might harbor for him. It wore him down, slightly. But no matter how she felt, his feelings would never change. Tonight had proven more serious than he had previously expected. Before Lily had chosen to even check if he was here, he had convinced himself this was a situation where he would simply either lose Lily, or gain forgiveness. Now, he was left with neither. Severus had not lost her, but now he was disconnected far more than ever before from her. He did not bare a mark of forgiveness, but he was not stricken from her life. Whatever decision he made next, would test everything.

He watched her turn, and grip the frame of the portrait once more. Severus cast off what he confessed from his memory. It would be best not to linger on the heat burning in his cheeks right now, and to rather, focus on the notions that lied before him. Lily looked back over her shoulder as she climbed into the portrait hole, and he admired her as lovingly and secretly as he always had through his obsidian eyes. "G'night Sev..." she bid him before sliding the portrait closed behind her. Severus stared a little longer, as if he could see through the Fat Lady to Lily walking up the tower.

"Good night, Lily." he whispered to no one but himself. Even the snores of the Fat Lady did not perturb him from his deep thoughts tonight. With heavy weight on his mind, he spun on his heel and traveled back to his own dorm. There was much to be done.

Meanwhile, in Gryffindor Tower, Lily made her way silently back to the dorm. She knew it was filled with the girls who questioned her friendship with Severus, and surely they believed today would be the final straw. Those girls were her friends, and surely they all knew that she had scurried from the scene out by the lake today back to the dorm in tears. It was funny, how these things played out. Only hours ago, she had been sobbing in her four poster, riddled with too many thoughts to be good for her. That pretty face had been ruddy and wet with tears. Severus obviously didn't know the effect he had on her. They'd been childhood friends, best friends, and she had watched his descent into the bitter shadows all the while. At first, she blamed herself for letting him fall so far. But now, she placed only the blame on him. Always she pointed out what she thought of his so-called friends and what they did. Dark magic wasn't something to be toyed with.

But all of that was beside her this afternoon. Lily spent most of it in her bed, gripping a pillow to her chest for support. As far as Severus fell, as distant as they became, she hadn't suspected the sudden sever. _"Filthy little mudblood", _it rang in her ears and made her cringe. A dirty, foul name. Of course she had heard it time and time again while at Hogwarts, mostly from aspiring Death Eaters and pure blood supremacists. But Severus used it, and he used it at her. For some reason, that made all the difference in the world. And it was the last push.

Those words... what troubled her more than ever was, were they true? Did Severus really believe them? Lily felt her heart shrivel as she thought that Sev believed she was dirty. As if the blood pumping through her veins, fueling her life, and her heart, was mud. An audible sigh crashed through her lips as Lily silently moved up the steps and into the dormitory. Inside the Gryffindor girls scattered like a flock of birds from their gossip. The red head ignored them and slunk into her bed, her head muddled with thoughts of today, and of Severus. There were a few hushed whispers as Lily turned away from them, pulling the covers up over herself and feigning sleep as she pondered over the black haired Slytherin boy. She wondered if he really did love her. The mere thought made her blush, and she wondered if he would really put in any effort. The effort to be the same gentle Severus she knew from childhood, and to cast off the shackles he had willingly accepted.

The piercing stares of both Mary and Alice were on her, but Lily did her best to ignore them for now. She didn't want to talk about what happened, not just yet. Dismissing their curiosity Lily closed her eyes, and all that filled the blackness of her eye lids was Severus. Strangely enough, her chest tightened and her stomach fluttered uneasily. After what happened today, Lily wondered deftly if she could ever confess the feelings she had been suspecting within herself for a while now. As quietly as she could manage, Lily wiped a stray tear that had managed to escape and sighed, her shoulders slumping a slight. Emotionally exhausted, lips swollen from crying frantically earlier, and the stress of seeing the black eyed boy again weighing down on her, Lily closed her eyes. For tonight, fatigue seeped through her limbs and sleep claimed her. But tomorrow would be a whole new day.

Severus, however, did not fall to slumber easily. Not tonight. Amidst the darkness of the Slytherin dormitory, he sat under his covers, wand alight, with a thick book in hand. To anyone who would be able to see through the covers, it would seem like nothing more than an Advanced Potions text book. But in between the lines in almost every page, were recipes and instructions on how to make any potion better, to make them more easily. In the back were hexes and curses he had created himself. They could use a little perfecting still, but right now, he wasn't worried about that. Right now, his black eyes were reading over all that he had done. Engrossed in the dark arts, he felt he had accomplished a lot. And now he was realizing just how much he had achieved. While he swelled up with pride over the spells he had created himself, and over the new recipes he made for potions, now as he looked them over, he wondered how far each one pushed him from Lily. A frown twisted on his lips. He did not want to halt these efforts, and he was reluctant with severing his ties with his fellow aspiring Death Eaters. A pang of fear throbbed inside of him as he pondered it.

His years at Hogwarts had led him to aspire to follow You-Know-Who. Doing so would guarantee him a safe life, would permit him power, and freedom. Severus' mind could only contemplate the perks of following such a strong dark wizard. If he were to prove himself useful enough, and he knew he would, he would have a good place in the dark army. Strong, safe, a wizard, no, a man, worthy to have Lily. To protect her, and should he have a good enough impression, and surely he would, she would be kept safe from pure blood supremacists seeking out to purge the world of... _mudbloods_. Now the word made him cringe. Severus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. His plans had been so perfect, hadn't they? But Lily did not approve. And now, he was presented with only one choice left. To abandon these aspirations in order to restore everything he had once had with Lily. The only hope glimmering in his black eyes, was that should he restore things to the way they once were, when Lily would smile at him, and laugh with him. When she was comfortable enough to even cry to him should she need to, that if he did all this, then perhaps he could prove something more. The longing in his eyes since he was nine years old had never ceased, nor did it dwindle. It only had time to grow. Closing the book in his lap he leaned back onto his pillow and dismissed the wand light.

Freeing his head from the covers Severus stared up through the shadows. Dismissing his ambitions meant that he had no place after Hogwarts, unless he figured something out soon. And dismissing these efforts meant making himself a deserter already, and would make enemies out of his supposed friends. With half lidded eyes and pursed lips, he vowed to himself to continue the study of the Dark Arts, but he would not pursue the future he once sought. Lily may approve, if he could convince her that this study would help protect himself in the future, and maybe even her as well. But even as he made these silent proclamations to himself, his dark eyes wandered over the sleeping bodies of the others in his dorm nervously. Doing this would make his life as an outcast even harder. Severus swallowed hard and continued to look upwards then. All of his aspirations were slowly changing. It was true, for Lily, he would do anything.

The next morning was dim and cloudy. Adorned in uniform, Severus headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Of course, he would pause and look for Lily at the entrance, wondering if he might catch her before she went to her own separate table. Severus scorned being in separate houses from her since day one, it made being close to her all the more difficult. But even now, he made the effort to greet her in the morning, even if to his red haired beloved it seemed like nothing more than a passing 'hello' on his own way to breakfast. He stood quietly, his black eyes scanning the the passing students, searching for Lily. But she did not appear. Severus frowned, feeling more bitter than earlier this morning. Was she skipping breakfast to avoid him? The very idea made his heart flinch and his stomach flop. If that was so, it seemed he too would be skipping a meal. Many others who passed by cast him a sideways glance and either giggled bitterly or whispered venomous comments. Severus could not dispel the frown creasing his lips. No doubt they all witnessed the spectacle made of him yesterday, and no doubt they each had their own disdainful opinion of him.

Severus resumed his silently hopeful search for Lily, when he heard a familiar whooping and jeering. His blood boiled and yet his skin felt icy cold. Immediately his fingers twitched towards his wand. James Potter and his followers were approaching the Great Hall in all of their big headed appeal. Sirius Black, the guard dog that he was, immediately shot a glance at Severus, a look that was both disgusted and highly amused. Severus wrapped his fingers around his weapon, his knuckles turning white. He would not be humiliated again, not today. With a quickened step, Remus Lupin hurried past and into the Great Hall. It seemed he would turn a blind eye to this. Severus withheld a sneer, _wonderful prefect_. Pettigrew hung back, apparently only planning to be a chuckling observer. Sirius had a darting look in his eye, from Severus, to James, and back.

"Oi, Snivellus." James greeted him with a grin. Severus was silent, he only gave that quidditch player a venomous look.

"Waiting for Evans, Snivelly? You're better off forgetting about it." James commented. Looking at the Gryffindor seeker now offered him even more hatred than usual. If anything, James had made him look like even more of a villain to Lily. He'd lashed out her, and even Potter had anger flare. Severus grit his teeth in frustration, though James didn't seem to pause any longer than he did, walking by with a rough shove of his shoulder into Severus', enough to make him stumble back a slight. Sirius followed closely after, disappointment written clearly on his face. Pettigrew scurried after them quickly, shooting a frightened glance at Severus. The Slytherin glared, finding little comfort that James was still chasing after Lily to no avail. She herself called him an arrogant toerag. Though he supposed right now, she had little esteem of him as well. Disappointment weighed down on him as he watched several students beginning to flee the hall. Then he really did have his work cut out for him, if she refused to arrive this morning.

Abandoning this fruitless endeavor, Severus gathered himself and began his slumped shoulder walk towards his first class. On the way he spotted some familiar faces, but he kept his head low, his black curtain of hair shielding him from having to look any longer. But it was too late. Avery and Mulciber had already spotted him. They joined him on his way to class, and Severus said little to nothing. They complimented him on breaking off any relationship he had with that '_mudblood'_ and suggested ways to get back at Potter for humiliating him. As much as he relished in the idea of exacting revenge on James, his heart sank a little lower every time they referred to Lily. They never used her name, as much as he had spoke about her being a friend in the past, and to leave her be. Now it seemed they felt they had a free pass to call her anything they wanted. Their voices grated on his ears, and scratched at his heart. A voice spoke up in the back of his head, drowning them out for now.

_They're talking about her, you know. Lily. They're calling her dirt. They're praising you, for something you hate yourself for. Can you really call them friends?_

And yet, for now, he accepted their words silently. He made no protest. But there was a rage building up inside of him. Why hadn't he seen this before? Their sadistic humor that frightened his precious Lily, he passed off as pranks. They preyed on muggle-born, and now he could only feel worry stacking inside of him. Without him in their ranks, would they take a liking to picking on her as well? All throughout class he was rather distracted, for once. He had come to the ultimatum. What was it to be, be a friend, or be an enemy? And to who? He could not choose the middle ground any longer. Choosing Lily, meant making enemies out of once called friends. Choosing his ambitions, meant losing Lily forever.

He could not have that. And so, looking up from his quill scratching on the parchment, he looked to the backs of his two 'friends' in particular. He had little time to detach himself from them before summer break began. But if he wanted to show Lily any improvement at all, if he wanted her to believe him and his purest affections for her, this needed to be done. Severus Snape was a clever, if not dark, young man, and a new ambition was born within him. He clutched the quill a little more tightly. It would all be laid out on the table soon enough. Lily, he loved her. And now, he wanted to feel worthy of her affection. He wanted to have her and be able to call her his own. With new vigor, Severus peered darkly at the young men in front of him, snickering as they transfigured hairy spiders out of a girl's inkwell, causing a commotion at the very end of class.

Freed from the classroom, things stuffed carelessly away, Severus hurried after them. Avery was smiling wryly while following after Mulciber, who was following one of the tormented girls out towards the courtyard. Undoubtedly he was planning on practicing a little more dark magic. Severus let his eyes flick over the poor sap they were following. His eyes narrowed and his breath hardened. Why did it always need to be Mary MacDonald? He wouldn't have recognized the plain looking girl had she not spent a decent amount of time with Lily. Now Severus was close, walking as a group with the two, forming a trio. Over their heads he spotted a shock of red waves, through the courtyard and towards another corridor. He knew she was on her way to Potions, just as he was supposed to head to. But he needed proof. Mulciber glanced back at the pale boy with black eyes and oily long hair. He grinned mischievously and rose a finger to his lips, speaking in a hush.

"Snape, you made it. Remember awhile ago when I tried to practice on this mudblood? Well that got interrupted by a silly little redhead..." he began. Severus' eyes narrowed. He was talking about Lily, no doubt. He remembered that conversation crystal clear with her. And now, he felt as though he should throttle his younger self in an attempt to save himself this kind of pain.

"Well, I'm gonna have another go at it. I'm pretty good at it, y'know. The Imperius Curse." Mulciber added in a lower voice, it almost sounded like a growl. Severus felt a grave sensation grappling with him. But his long fingers settled around his wand. Out under the gray cloudy sky, Mulciber suddenly whipped his wand out from his sleeve, his green and silver tie flapping with the excited motion.

"Imperio!"

Severus did not hesitate.

"Expelliarmus!"

Rebellion resounded inside of him, only boosted by the words his sweet Lily had spoken to him urgently last night.

Prove it.


	3. Chapter 3

Suddenly Mulciber's wand was doing cartwheels in the air. Severus held his breath, his dark eyes glued to the two Slytherin boys in front of him. Avery was the first to turn, eyes wide and unblinking in a state of shock. His mouth flapped, like a fish out of water, trying to question his actions, but no words followed the motions of his lips. Mulciber stood frozen, seeming dumbfounded over the loss of his wand, which landed some odd feet away in the grass. Severus' jaw clenched, despite all of the students carrying on around them, their outburst was obviously internal, and he felt a sense of foreboding. Some form of dread clenched at his muscles and made him rigid. Regret nagged in the back of his mind, he ought not to have done such a thing. But he reminded himself sternly, of the green eyes he adored. Severus swallowed the lump that had tried to climb up his throat, his Adam's apple bobbing evidently. With a sudden jolt, Mulciber looked over his shoulder at Severus. His fingers only tightened around his wand, feebly aware of the students now hurrying to other classes.

"What was that about, Severus?" the question sounded innocently imploring as Mulciber turned all the way to finally face the black eyed young man.

"I told you I needed a bit of practice, and you've gone and ruined it." he added, his brows knitting in blunt frustration. In that moment, Severus seemed to catch his breath.

"I suggest... you find an alternate outlet." his voice was silky. But inside he felt his stomach tightening and churning unpleasantly with bile. Venom stoked him, and yet there was the issuing realization of how real his actions were. Reality was suffocating in this moment, but he couldn't back down now. He'd made a commitment to this path, this choice.

Mulciber seemed to be calculating. His brows were knotted up in a flare of anger, fists clenched. His lips curled unpleasantly while Avery stood between them, his eyes darting back and forth nervously. How much of a lackey he really was idly dawned upon Severus, and he had the faint recognition of Pettigrew. The silence stretched, but Mulciber's contorted anger slowly melted into an amused smirk.

"Oh I see." he announced, looking all too pleased with himself while he turned his back on Severus. He took a few steps, and knelt down to pick up his wand. Severus watched, confusion and frustration pent up inside of him. Mulciber stood and faced him, brandishing his wand absently with a breathy chuckle.

"You're a bit emotional today, aren't you Snape? Over that mudblood from yesterday? You did always used to spend a lot of time with her, for someone of her kind-"

"Don't use that word." Severus snapped with his wand suddenly pointing at Mulciber again. His own conviction might have surprised him. But that word. It had tempted to ruin his life forever, it stained _her_ cheeks with tears, and it tarnished his purest intentions meant for her. He couldn't stand it now. It left a bitter taste on his tongue and it grated his ears. Mulciber however, seemed to brush the comment off.

"Don't be daft. You cut all ties with that filthy little mudblood. For the better, I say." Mulciber mused with a devilish gleam in his eyes. Avery moved from between them, chuckling under his breath.

"Yeah, Snape. Don't get so riled over a mudblood. Pretty face must have had you hypnotized, huh?"

Severus clenched his jaw, his brows knitting together. Mulciber jabbed Avery in the shoulder approvingly.

"Oi, you're right, mate. She was awfully pretty for one of them. Snogging her could have been a thrill, eh?" he commented ruefully before looking at Severus again, an antagonizing grin set on his mouth.

"Was that it, Severus? You wanted to roll in the mud with the mudblood?" he teased with a lifted brow.

Anger surged through him. How dare they barbarically refer to Lily in such a manner! His black eyes hazed in a bitter anger he had not felt flare so high before, even compared to the ordeal he had been put through only yesterday. Letting his black eyes rake over them both in disgust, admitting them beasts to himself, Severus felt his lips curl in disdain. In these flash of brief moments, he deduced they were his enemies. These sickening young men, with habits he had mimicked to fall into their crowd, so as to adorn power similar, whose poison he had shared, did little to quell the fury that shook him. There was only one thing left for enemies in Severus' opinion.

"Sectum sempra!" he hissed while his wand arm lashed out.

In one precise flick of his wrist, Mulciber was sent tumbling back, unable to mutter his counter spell as the tearing pain of a blade went through him. In the abandoned court yard, he crumpled on the grass, howling in pain and clenching at his stomach. The vivid red of his blood seeped into his uniform shirt and matted it heavily against his skin. The red streaks marring his body savagely made him convulse on the ground, grunting in furious pain. Avery let out a cry of surprise and turned his wand on the black eyed young man, who proceeded with nothing more of a simple flick of his wrist, sending his wand flying through the air. In long strides he came to Mulciber, glaring down from his cold obsidian eyes at the boy who laid gasping in the grass, staring venomously and yet frightfully at his fellow Slytherin, who was now towering over him.

"Filthy... blood traitor!" Mulciber spat up at him.

Severus simply stared, acutely aware of the rise and fall of his chest as he took deep breaths. His fingers taught around the wooden wand in his hand, clenched so tightly his knuckles had turned white. His thoughts simply swum in anger, boiling as he stared rigidly down at the boy bleeding out in front of him. All the while keeping his furious glare on Mulciber, he pressed his foot to the wand lying in the grass beside him. A small voice in the back of his mind softly sneered, _What were you so afraid of?_

"Never..." he seethed quietly, his black eyes narrow. "Never refer to Lily in such a manner." Severus warned the limp boy on the ground, and pushed down his weight a slight. There an unmistakable crack, earning a satisfied sigh from Severus. Withdrawing his step he looked down to see the wand snapped, not through all of the way, but it was indeed cracked, wood splintering up defiantly. Turning to look at Avery, his brooding stare visible between the curtain of ebony hair, he gave him an apprehensive frown and looked ahead.

"I suggest you get the nurse."

Now striding through the halls and towards the dungeons, Severus felt his own pulse throbbing loudly in his chest. He had to hurry from the scene, he did not wish to be caught there. No doubt Avery would be too much a bumbling imbecile to get much information across, and if Mulciber had any dignity, he would not pass on who had done this to him. A smirk tilted the corners of his lips at the very thought of it. Perhaps it was a dark thought, but there was a significant swell of pleasure within him. He would not let anyone utter such foulness about Lily. His steps became twitchy very slightly as he turned the corner now. His black eyes were wide and probing as his gaze continued to the ground, his heart sinking into his stomach. Lily. This whole attempt had been to protect her, to defend her and prove himself to her. And yet, he had sullied his intentions with a curse to maim Mulciber when he spoke such things about Lily. Severus halted, groaning in detest of himself. He could not reveal this revel to her as a triumph. If anything, she would most likely be upset over his tact. Blanketed by the shadows in the corridor and left to his lonesome, Severus leaned against the stone wall and slid down. Now he really had done it. The size of his victory now seemed much less significant. He was now reduced to an enemy of the aspiring followers of the dark lord, still without any shred of light from Lily. Rubbing his face carefully in his palms, Severus tried to contemplate the sickly hot sensation holed up in his stomach. He was not brave, but he was trying to be. For her. All he had ever done was for her. So why was he failing so miserably?

He took a shaky breath and held it in. His dark stare remained on his shoes. He was more than sure he had just started a fight he could not win, rivaling the surge of confidence he had felt when defending Lily, trying to keep those foul words from sullying her, or ever reaching her. His long fingers gripped at his knees uncomfortably, no longer intending on appearing in the dungeons for class. Potions was his best subject, and he was more than sure he knew more than Slughorn did. He scoffed in bitter amusement, placing himself above the head of Slytherin house's status in standards of knowledge. How droll. And yet how correct. And yet as he sat there amongst his own shadow, Severus leaned his head back against the unforgiving stone wall, staring into nothing. His fathomless black eyes held a faint amusement as his lips quirked into a joyless smirk. Those boys outside, one whom he had hexed out of such white fury, had never been his friends. Severus swallowed hard, trying to shove down some of the fear attempting to strangle him again, glad to had rid himself of people who made the only one he loved hate him.

Sitting in silence, trying to find some solace within himself concerning his rash decisions, Severus was blind to the accomplishment he had made. For the first time in years, he had defended Lily to his friends. And while they could no longer be called comrades, there was a sliver of new found solid strength within him, aching to grow into more.

Deep within the dungeons, in the drafty potions class room, Mary MacDonald came panting inside. She uttered a strained 'sorry' between breaths and flung herself into a stool beside Lily. Turning a concerned stare on her exhausted friend, Lily blinked back surprise and simply rose a hand tentatively to Mary's shoulder.

"Are you alright?" she whispered in a mild tone of disbelief.

Still breathless, Mary nodded so fervently that her brunette pigtails flapped wildly. Lily's lips quirked into a half smile while Slughorn stuttered slightly over the lesson in question, his great mustache twitching in tufts of air as he went on. Though Lily was satiated having Mary appear without anything being truly the matter, her green eyes roamed the class again, like they had been doing the entire class. She couldn't focus. She couldn't help but notice that Severus wasn't here, although he had never missed a class. A knot of worry unearthed itself in the pit of her stomach while she chewed her bottom lip. Mary suddenly slid her cauldron unceremoniously onto the table, startling Lily out of her long stare at the empty seat. Sensing the slight unease, the brunette beside her arched a brow, but Lily dispelled it with a quick nod of her head.

"Right then, let's prepare the ingredients." she suggested with an unwavering grin.

Amid chopping her mandrake root into thin precise slices, Lily's brows were furrowed into what may have been mistaken as focus. Rather, as her partner was distracted with using the mortar and pestle to grind amaranth petals into a fine dust, Lily let her green eyes glance around the class again. Not even a late entrance. He just wasn't showing up. Mixed feelings tangled in her chest making it feel tight and heavy as she stared determinedly down at her mandrake root. Had he decided against the prospect of seeing her? Or was it that late last night he decided the effort wasn't worth it? The red head's heart strings gave an awkward twang at the sheer thought, and she sliced one of her roots at an awkward angle. Cursing under her breath, Lily settled herself into the rhythm again, the chopping against the desk all too loud in her ears.

There was the constant flickering of guilt in her green eyes while she worked with Mary. Just yesterday, she'd lost her best friend completely to what she'd been struggling to keep him from. Their relationship had been strained for some time, but she never suspected that it would really happen. Not seeing him here made the reality of it all weigh down on her shoulders. Some students were still casting her looks and whispering amongst each other, their eyes wide with wonder. Lily didn't have too much trouble ignoring them, but her thoughts kept pooling back to the tall Slytherin boy she'd known growing up. Should she feel remorseful for casting him off? He'd apologized, but it wasn't just the name that made her keep him at an arm's length. It was everything collectively. Hanging out with sadistic bullies, not caring if her friends were jinxed or hexed, nor caring if people with her kind of blood were targeted, aspiring to join the dark army, failing to recognize the brutality of such ambitions, and to top it off; calling her filth. Even in the heat of a moment so terrible, she didn't think something like that could slip from _his_ mouth. A subtle surge of anger flared up inside of her, and she hastily poured her slices into the cauldron, desperate to put this from her mind for now.

"...and right when class ended!" Mary droned on. Lily suddenly stared, surprised that the other girl had been speaking at all. A faint pink shade fell over her cheeks.

"What was that?" Lily interjected, her eyes not meeting Mary's as a refusal to admit she hadn't been listening.

"_I said_, while I was in arithmancy my ink well was transfigured into a bundle of hairy spiders." she repeated, a visible shudder going through her as she obviously relived the memory. Lily crinkled her nose slightly at the thought.

"Did you hex them?" she asked, brushing a crimson tendril away from her face.

"No, the professor transfigured it back, but I can't stand to touch it anymore..." Mary mumbled.

"I meant the ones who did it to you." Lily added cheekily with a soft smile.

"What? Of course not!" retorted her friend, slightly taken aback. But Lily laughed softly and shrugged her shoulders, mumbling a 'I would have' while flipping through her potions text book.

Mary frowned defiantly at the girl beside her and jabbed her in the rib with her elbow. Lily let out a soft squeak of discomfort and glared at her before Mary added, "I bet you wouldn't have. It was Avery, I just know it. I heard him and Mulciber snickering, and they even dashed out of class!" Mary confirmed with a strong nod that made her pigtails bounce. Lily immediately frowned.

"All the more reason to hex them!" she argued, feeling the flame lick up at her nerves again.

"I'd rather not be caught in a fight with them..." Mary mumbled in a lame defense.

Through glaring at her friend through some form of pent up rage, her green eyes softened again. Last time Mary had been picked on by Mulciber, it was a failed attempt of one of the unforgivable curses. She could place no blame on her friend, but only release a long, loud, heavy sigh and slump forward into her book a little more. A veil of crimson tresses blocked her face from the world while she delved into the text, once again trying to purge the memory. At least for now.

"Come on, let's finish up here and get to charms." Lily suggested in a brighter tone.

Classes resumed an achingly slow pace. But of course, the void was filled with rumors on the rise of a student being sent to the infirmary; apparently he had been cursed rather brutally. Lily was sitting down to lunch when the gossip was really buzzing around her. Like many of the others, she wondered vaguely what happened, and who had been hurt. It didn't really hit her until she was serving a large portion of pudding onto her plate that maybe, just maybe, Severus had been hurt. He hadn't been in class today. Dropping her spoon with a clatter, Lily could not restrain herself from jumping up from the table, somewhat awkwardly as her leg got caught under it, and rush off towards the hospital wing. For all of the ire that had settled in her emerald green eyes, for all of the frustration and animosity she had been brooding over silently today, she felt the ache of disquiet over Severus' possible injury arise in a flurry within her, pushing her on frantic legs to run all through the corridors toward the infirmary. She didn't know where the sudden stress had appeared. Perhaps it was the shimmer of belief in him, that the boy she knew had decided to take up her request. Or did it seem more like a demand last night?

Heat throbbed in her head unpleasantly until she reached the infirmary. It settled into her chest while she struggled to catch her breath, green eyes alight with worriment, seeking a glimpse of him. Satisfied with the amount of air she had drew into her lungs, Lily neared the door, a million thoughts buzzing so loudly in her head she felt like she could hear no else. Before her fingers could wrap around the knob though, the door creaked open. Surprised, she looked up, and her wide green eyes landed on him. Severus was there, wearing a scowl on his lips that looked all too fitting, his dark eyes narrowed in what seemed to be frustration or spite. But the moment his eyes landed on her, they brightened in surprise and his scowl mildly vanished. "Lily?" he sounded bewildered to see her at all. Lily looked imploringly up at him, at a loss for words. Her green eyes raked over his entire tall pale form. From what she could see, he was fine. The agony wrenching in her head was ebbing away, but Severus looked slightly worried now.

"What are you doing here? Are you... ill?" he asked, one brow arching as his own eyes grazed over her, as if trying to spot a wound or some sign of sickness. When Lily said nothing, he pressed on.

"A... fever?" he guessed, obviously judging from the redness in her cheeks. His voice was slightly choked with some worry, though there was a flicker of joy seeing her here at all. All day he'd gone with only a glimpse of her red hair, and the dread looming over him that she didn't want to see him. Dubiously, he lifted a pale hand and reached it to touch her cheek, the back of his neck rising to a steady burn. And, to his great surprise, she did not spurn him, or recoil from his touch. Lily stood frozen, unbeknownst to him the heat rising further in her cheeks from his impending caress. Gently laying his palm against her reddened cheek, he swallowed silently. Her skin was soft, if not very warm. Severus' fingers curled slowly against her before drawing away, her green eyes still lingering over him, he averted his own black eyes. His hair fell over his face a slight as if to shield him, his hand retreated to his side, still prickling with the sensation of her skin pleasantly.

"You... _are_ warm." he admitted, half worried that she may actually be running a temperature. But Lily shook her head in protest, wishing the burning in her face would vanish.

"N-no, I'm fine..." her tone almost sounded angry, so she quickly tried to readjust.

"I thought- I was worried- the rumors..." she tried pathetically, wringing her hands, anticipating a response. As odd as the scene may have seemed, he understood her reasoning immediately. He'd known Lily long enough to comprehend her fragmented speech patterns in certain times of stress. His lips wore the ghost of a smile, silently relishing that she was still concerned for him.

"I'm alright, Lily." he answered, feeling compelled to speak her name as softly as he could manage. No matter what, he still wished to convey the feelings he so desperately revealed late last night. If he could not impress her or protect her gaining power from the easiest source, than he would throw it away and offer all he had to her. His love, and hopefully, his redemption.

"Good." she uttered, managing to banish any nervous break from her lofty voice.

They stood together in a stretch of awkward silence. Lily managed to stare down at her shoes, attempting to avoid the intense stare she could feel he was giving her. When she peeked up through her lashes, she saw him, and he immediately caught her glance, and his black eyes shot away quickly. There was a knot tightening in his stomach the longer he stood there with her in this uncomfortable quiet. At some attempt of normalcy between them, he dipped his fingers into his pockets and opened his mouth to speak, his eyes falling onto the lovely red tresses, the green eyes and the beautiful face he loved so much again. But just as he went to speak, the door behind him opened again, and a sour looking Avery appeared. Severus looked back, glowering at him in silence, his black hair keeping Lily from seeing such a furious burning look. Avery sneered in return, before his eyes went to the Gryffindor girl with Severus. His brows climbed farther up his forehead as he studied her a moment, regarding her, before his frown deepened.

"All this for a nasty mudblood, Severus... You'll regret it." he growled solemnly and pushed past the both of them. Severus fingers curled in another foreign fist.

"Mind your mouth, Avery." Severus hissed after him. Avery looked back once, a lingering troubled look wearing him down before he scoffed and went down the steps. Despite some confidence building up, some pride welling in his chest under the ruffled anger, Severus could feel the storm coming.

Instead of looking at her again, Severus dropped his head a little, letting his hair curtain him and slumped his shoulders a slight. Lily glared off after the retreating aspiring death eater. Her stomach did unceremonious flip flops and her fists clenched. She hated being called such a thing, but... her eyes slowly recoiled to Severus. He had said something? He had... stood up for her. A clear sense of surprise was written across her face. Some portion of the fury she felt towards him hanging over her head since yesterday settled. A clear curiosity took its place, and Lily felt some little form of gratitude pulling at her lips into a secret smile.

"Sev... what did you do?" she asked wonderingly.

Despite the almost pleased look in her beautiful green eyes, Severus took a deep breath, fearing the worst upon telling her what happened today.

"Please don't be mad."


	4. Chapter 4

Standing there, on the precipice of shame and pride before his green eyed obsession, Severus tightened the closure of his lips. His fingers were unsure how to preoccupy themselves as he held his breath, looking down upon her. The black eyes he affectionately appraised her with were unable to draw away, searching her desperately for some kind of response. Trying to read her after such a plea on his part, was nerve rattling and even frustrating. The pace of his heart quickened, as he realized was so common in her presence, while he could clearly see the concern returning to her eyes. But he tried to memorize the look she had given him only seconds ago before sheer worry settled in her emeralds. Oh, that look she had given him for the briefest of moments before he destroyed it with his own words. A look he feared Lily would never grant him again after yesterday's ordeal. Such a look, that he actually missed. Lily had not spared him a look of pride in his person for so long, though he only had himself to blame. Seeing it now, stirred up some of the happiest moments his life had to offer him, and he found that he sought for her to look at him like that again. Even if he had to destroy that cherished look right now. The pale Slytherin swallowed hard, while Lily's green eyes finally misted up at him, full of concern and curiosity, before a soft sigh parted her lips.

"... What happened?" she asked in a low voice. It was almost constrained, trying to fight back the fears that immediately arose within her. Lily felt compelled to stare up at him, despite the daring disappointment that was ready to burst over her.

Severus took this opportunity to breathe. Glancing away from her, through the vague slits in his dark curtain of hair, he briefly nudged his head as his black eyes refused to meet her. He took a single step, hesitant to lead her, but she followed. A few steps away, out of the infirmary's path, and together in the dim corridor, Severus paused with her. Lily seemed just as rigid as he in these moments. It was obvious there was much to be said, and yet he struggled to find any of the words. He could not, would not lie to Lily. And yet he felt the bubbling negativity already. He could picture her torn expression when he admitted to her what he had done, even if he had tried to do so all in loyalty to her. Severus kept his black gaze low, his ebony hair shielding him from having to see her distraught expression. He could vaguely see the twitch of her rosy lips, the subtle blush of her cheeks. Spying these tempting complexions that were distinctively Lily brought burning to his neck, but he managed to find his voice. Perhaps this would be less difficult than last night. At least, there was some good hidden in this.

"I cursed Mulciber." he finally answered simply. The tall young man's eyes momentarily shot up to her green hues, trying to gauge her reaction, though didn't linger long enough to truly decipher it. His eyes fell back to her lips, which he saw parted in subtle shock. He could tell by the way her chest rose, and the quiet protrusion of her voice, that she had gasped. Lily's fingers were awkwardly tangled amongst her sleeves, which were just barely too long on her. She gripped them and pulled at a single thread, as though it were frustrating her. These singular tinges of her he observed, before her voice made itself present again.

"Why?" she asked. He could not mistake the curve of her lips as she whispered to him, and he was surprised. There was a strained worry, and yet he could find no hint of malice. Her pretty lips, tugged into a frown he found was not at all fitting for such a beautiful face. And yet, how beautiful she was throughout, even her glimmering tear cradling eyes were so bright and beautiful, as much as it broke his heart to witness. Making her frown, making her cry... These past events were making him feel lower than ever, as if he really were a slimy git. But right now, she was speaking to him. Conversing with him. Although he felt as though he could not make her smile like he wished to, he would take this for now. An unamused smirk wryly wore his lips as he thought himself selfish in this instance.

"Because he made a foul remark about _you_." was his honest answer.

"What did he say?" Lily pressed, her voice wavering with some form of astonishment and suspicion. But Severus only shook his head, his black eyes finally rising to look in her green eyes. Through all of the churning in his stomach, he managed a tender smile down at her.

"No. I don't want you to hear things like that." he admitted, though he felt his throat grow tight. Oh how he wished he had just defended her all the while, rather than just coming to his senses now. Despite his poignant efforts, Lily's brows knitted together and her lips broke from their frown. Instead she adorned a protesting pout, obviously displeased with his answer.

"Sev, what could he have possibly-" but she was cut off.

"I cursed him for it." Severus' voice was no longer mild, his black eyes intense upon her. He wasn't about to repeat anything so barbaric to her, especially when it had been about her. His stare was unrelenting as he straightened his back to look at her now, standing to his full height, proving that he easily loomed over her.

Lily was caught wordless. She was surprised to see him suddenly so firm in this matter. The stare he was giving her made her insides squirm in the most peculiar way, her cheeks burned deftly while she stood with him in the dimly lit corridor. Finally taking a breath for herself, Lily stopped her fiddling motions with the ends of her sleeves, though she hadn't really been aware of it during her anxiousness. Her thoughts were turning to puddles. She tried to sift all that she knew was true of this situation. Severus had been in trouble, he cursed Mulciber for saying something wretched about her, and Avery had shot him a dirty look. It was baffling to believe that only days before he was amongst these boys smirking and standing amongst their ranks. She wanted to yell at him, to scold him. To say anything that would make him come to his senses, but as she stood there, face hot and struggling with the words, she found that... perhaps, this was not so terrible. Lily didn't promote cursing other students, but had she been in the same situation, she knew in the back of her mind, she would undoubtedly hex the offender into next week. The red head suddenly shook her head, forcing her green eyes to look at their feet between them.

"Dammit, Sev... did you really have to curse him?" she muttered, her frustration having nowhere to release itself.

"Lily... I know I didn't start this correctly." Severus confessed, garnering her attention with a subtle look of sympathy in her eyes, and a severe glimmer of hope.

"Please don't write me off just yet. I only..." Severus fought with his words, his pale face gaining a significant rosy hue, though his expression was stern, and oddly soft. His black eyes were drowning in her emeralds, and his pale hand reached out to her, trembling with frayed nerves and butterflies storming within his stomach. His long slender fingers found her hand, dainty and soft against his skin. The contact was enough to choke him up and muddle his thoughts, but he had a plain purpose. Severus relished in the feel of her hand in his for the moments he was allowed, and he took a step closer to close any of the distance that had been left between them. Lily had obviously been caught off guard, now ensnared by how close they stood to one another, where it was inevitable to see the rise and fall of his chest, or catch the slightly twitchy travel of his hand holding hers, leading it back to himself. The green eyed girl stared, her lips barely parted to steal away some breath that she swore might have been in his lungs. With her mouth dry and her heart hammering in her chest, Lily looked up at the tall Slytherin trapping her fingers with his.

"Severus, if you think I'll forgive you just for picking a fight, you're wrong!" she told him clearly, her brows knotted up in confusion. But the young man clutching her hand tenderly only shook his head, a look of desperate affection in his eyes as he finally pressed her palm to his chest. He was silent, his pale hand still rested over hers. The young woman of the house of gold and crimson could feel the heart beating beneath his breast. The violent thrumming faster than a hummingbird that was the Slytherin's heart made her look up at him. Her green eyes stared into his obsidian hued orbs, where she glimpsed something she wasn't sure had been present before. His mouth, twitched into a subtle smile, the curve of which was almost secretive as they stood close together. The melancholy motion faded again as the intensity in his eyes softened, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat while he summoned the nerve to follow through.

"I only want to prove that this is true to you." he finally admitted, his voice slightly hoarse as he enunciated each word distinctly, while his heart seemed to beat more fondly under her touch. Severus slid his hand away from hers, falling to his side stiffly while Lily's fingers lingered over his chest. The black eyed young man said nothing, rather he enjoyed this closeness between them secretly, his skin prickling from the briefest brush of her flesh over his. And while her palm lingered, as if to ensure the rhythmic beating of his heart was really there, he tried to remain as stoic as possible. For her, he would smile, if only briefly. And yet in this moment, he felt his usual seriousness was needed. This green eyed love of his, just needed to know how much he cherished her. But she slowly withdrew her palm, cautiously as if waiting for him to snatch it up. But Severus did no such thing.

While Lily seemed to linger over the significance of his motion, of such an attempt to show her something he had yet to prove, Severus parted his lips again. His usual brooding black eyed stare adorned once more as his hair fell down to shield his warm cheeks. He brushed a few fingers through the ebony curtain, before leaving his hands at his sides again and softly cleared his throat. Lily jerked her head to look up at him, the stupor of her thoughts broken.

It was odd, how paranoid she could be considering his affections. And it was odder still, how she found herself craving his presence, and willed herself to forgive him, with the sheer desire to rebuild something she feared they'd lost. Not once did his confession flee from her thoughts. It lingered in the back of her mind, mingled with the poison that settled there labeled distrust. Last night, she didn't want to believe Severus. Didn't even, because if he loved her, how could he do the things he did? Or rather the company he kept, the aspirations she knew he had held. But the quiet, mysteriously confident, sometimes wicked, young man she knew, had completely baffled her with the sudden confession of his love, which he claimed to be undying since childhood. But now, catching the dark glint of affection and tenderness focused on her in his eyes, feeling the strength of his heart beat and his hot, clammy shaking hands over hers, Lily felt the well of... something in her own chest. Some kind of emotion she really knew, but refused to admit. If she confessed it now, she was unsure if she'd have the strength to firmly stand apart from Severus. But the burning left over in her hand, the tingling remnant of his touch on her skin, and the ghost throbbing heartbeat she could feel in her palm. But Lily stared up at him, examining his pale face as he vied for her attention in his silent way.

Completely taken aback by his own motions, Severus stared down at Lily. His lips were settled in a barely parted trance, his heart racing in his chest while he berated himself. What had he done? He not only made the biggest mistake of his life yesterday, not only ruined his first attempt at proving his determination, but he had actually stolen her hand and pressed it to his chest. Such an intimate thing, he often wished between them, but he found that this was not the time nor the place to do so. He doubted his attempts as he always had, wishing they would go better. But looking into her pondering emeralds, he simply stared for now, rising a brow in his usual questioning manner.

"Will I see you over the summer holiday?" he queried, his black stare following Lily as she prepared to walk away. She took but a step back, turning mid way to go down the hall. But then paused, obviously contemplating the notion. Severus curled his fingers expectantly, wishing he would already know the answer. Though he feared he did know it. His lips were curved in a bitter scowl, losing some of the vigor he had attained today. But Lily glanced back at him, her green eyes lingering as they now stood apart.

"It depends, Sev." she answered in a rather warm tone. One that instilled hope in his black eyes, even as Lily retreated down the hall. Most likely to go partake in dinner now that the worries concerning the tall Slytherin boy were dispelled. As Severus stood alone, he blinked back some of his surprise, and slowly leaned back against the stone wall. He pushed his long pale fingers through the inky black hair falling around his face. His head tilted up to stare at the ceiling, the lingering impression of her bright emeralds still sparking in his vision, and he closed his eyes to capture them. A smirk dressed his soft mouth as a shred of happiness presented itself to him. His wits were already conniving concoctions to bottle proof for her. Even more so, because as he realized, his eyes opening to a narrow as he stared into nothing, this was not something he could afford to fail.

Severus would seize any slightest notion or opportunity presented to him. After all, her answer had not been 'no'.


End file.
